self love challenge results

hi friends. 

how did your february go? can you believe it's already march? i can't. currently i'm sitting on my couch, watching a movie with my family and feeling just so overwhelmingly blessed. i have a great family, supportive friends, and the whole world to explore. 

but. 

life isn't always adventures and bubble baths when you're single. it's learning to love yourself and take care of yourself without needing a partner. 

that's what february brought for me. 

when i was going through my divorce i felt very unworthy of love. i was unsure of who i was. 

i couldn't deny the feelings. they weighed on me, gnawed at me, and brought me to a really dark place. 2019 came around and i decided it was time to take myself on a date. it was time to love myself. 

that's what my self love challenge did for me. i realized that i am worthy of love, i have interests, and i don't need validation from any outside source to make myself feel loved. 

so guess what. 

you don't need any outside source to feel loved either. 

divorced, married, single, it's complicated, who cares. you are the only one who can make you happy. no one else can. 

during self love february, i learned how to take care of myself. and not just in the normal "treat yo' self" way. i learned to go to bed at a normal hour, to eat healthy, to drink water, that kind of thing. i learned that self love isn't just bubble baths and chocolate. 

i hope you, wherever you are, learn to love yourself. even if it just starts with "i accept myself." 

forgiveness is...

we had a really interesting object lesson in a class today (kudos to Claire Canfield for this activity)

to start the activity, we partnered up, and each held the end of the most uncomfortable, scratchy rope i have ever held in my hand. then each person took a turn answering the following question about a grudge or other conflict they have not been able to get over:

i'm not sorry to be thankful

ah november. 

everyone posting all of their gratitude lists, pumpkin spice still lingering in the air. it's the time between true fall and true winter when the world just waits for a season of giving. 

i love seeing what everyone is thankful for this time of year because it reminds me to be grateful for everything. but this year, i'm implementing a new practice into my daily habits: 

replacing my "sorry's" with "thank you's"

for instance: 

"i'm sorry i made a mistake." turns to "thank you for catching my error." 

when i am constantly apologizing, i tend to internally beat myself up about every little thing. i did "wrong." 

at work. at home. at school. in relationships. 

and you know what? it has become so relieving to not feel like i have to constantly apologize for all my behaviors. 

while it doesn't replace all the times you need to say sorry, i truly believe in sincere apologies,

 "thank you" can really change the way you view yourself. 

so here are some of the things i've replaced: 

"i'm sorry for being late." "thank you for waiting for me." 

"i'm sorry that i suck at this." "thank you for taking the time to help me learn." 

"sorry i don't make much sense." "thank you for clarifying my words." 

"sorry i can be a pain sometimes." "thank you for loving me unconditionally." 

"sorry i ramble on and on." "thank you for listening to everything i say." 

i love this from theawesomedaily.com - 

so the next time you start to apologize for something that needs no apology, try to replace it with 

thank you. 

you'll be surprised what you learn. 

every BODY is different

many of you know, i’ve been doing weight watchers for about 4 months now. first - it’s been the best weight loss program not only for my physically but for me mentally. my group leader and the other people help me so much. i love attending meetings and feel really lost without them. 

i haven’t been losing weight like i wanted to, so i stayed after to talk to my leader. she gave me some awesome advice and finished with

 “but you honestly look great. when you walked in i wondered, what is she doing here.” 

i accepted the compliment, but it got me thinking. 

those women see me as “ideal.” 

but i don’t see that. 

those women see me as “thin.” 

but i don’t see that. 

of course, we are our own worst critics. 

all. the. time. 

what matters is how YOU feel. 

if YOU feel unhealthy or overweight - change it. 

if YOU feel great - great! 

it all is relative to what you want in your life. 

at weight watchers, they speak of your “why.” 

WHY are you trying to lose weight? WHY do you want to be healthy? 

for me, it’s to feel good, confident, and strong. 

it’s to have a healthy relationship with food and eating.

so here's to loving my self enough to take care of my body.  

you are never alone

every morning as i prepare for the day, i like to turn on LDS talks to get my day started off right. today was no different. this morning, i listened to a talk by sister carole stephens, a first counselor in the relief society general presidency. 

in it, she spoke of healing. one particular quote stood out to me: 

my version of self love

Once upon a time, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. But most of you reading, already knew that. What I'm here to write about tonight, is how I take care of myself on those days when the storms outside don't even compare with the ones inside. (#dramaticmuch)

The "storms" I reference are the volley of words I throw at myself, about myself, and to myself. 

"Nobody likes you." 

"You're fat." 

"Why do you make so many mistakes?"                                                          "You suck at your job." 

"You are a failure." 

"Look at that double chin." 

"I can't believe you just watched Netflix for 8 hours straight." 

"You will never succeed at anything."

My therapist had me write down all the negative things I tell myself one day, and then said: 

"Would you say these things to someone you really loved?" 

NO. I wouldn't. 

B/c that would make he or she cry. And the last thing I E.V.E.R. want to do is make someone else feel sad. I feel like my goal in life, is to make everyone else happy and, for the most part, I really love my life calling! But sometimes, I forget....